


On Paper

by Anthimeriate



Category: Orphan Black (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-29
Updated: 2014-07-29
Packaged: 2018-02-10 22:22:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,049
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2042430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anthimeriate/pseuds/Anthimeriate
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cosima discovers a sketchbook of dirty drawings in Felix's flat, and confronts Sarah with her findings.</p>
            </blockquote>





	On Paper

**Author's Note:**

> Written in response to a prompt from punk-rock-science on Tumblr. I've been writing at this one for about a week now, and it's changed direction many times since then.

Cosima bolted up from the couch the second she heard Sarah open the door to Felix’s flat. She knew she was acting weird, but she couldn’t help it.

Sarah immediately gave her a look. “Um, good evening to you too, Cos?”

After a few seconds of awkward laughter, followed by an even more awkward silence, Cosima decided to just come out with it: “I found something weird.”

Sarah immediately tensed, hurrying to put down her things. “Is it about us? Should we call Alison?”

“No!” she said quickly, awkward laugh returning. “I mean, it’s about us. But not like, clones us. Us us. Me and you us.”

“What is it?”

The scientist tried to suppress her blush, but was unsuccessful. “You might want to sit down.”

Sarah looked more and more concerned for her by the second, but thankfully took a seat on the couch. Once she was sure the other woman would stay there, she grabbed a sketchbook off of a stack of papers in the corner of the flat. “I think Felix is… I don’t even know, just look.”

Not knowing what else to do, she threw the sketchbook unceremoniously into Sarah’s lap. Staring at it, Sarah froze. “Um,” she said, laughing nervously, “What’s this about?”

“Look!” Cosima urged, flipping the book open. Suddenly, a quite naked drawing of Sarah was looking up at them, a dreadlocked head between her thighs. The real Sarah yelped, quickly slamming the book closed again.

“I… uh…” she stammered.

“Why would he do this? Where is he getting this idea that I—that we…” Cosima hoped that Sarah hadn’t noticed that particular slip of the tongue.

“I, um… I don’t know… Maybe he just, uh… artistic license or whatever?” At the very least, Sarah seemed about as panicked about the whole thing as she was.

“I mean, we have to talk to him, right?”

Sarah looked even more taken aback. “I… I don’t think we need to.”

“But we can’t just let him… I don’t know, do this? It’s really weird, right?”

“Oh, yeah. Totally weird.”

“We would never even—“

“—definitely not.”

“But, I mean, I don’t want to insult him, you know? I mean the artwork is extremely good, it’s just that…” Cosima trailed off, not quite sure if admitting that was a good idea.

Sarah’s eyes narrowed. “How much of this did you look at?”

“Um… All of it.”

Sarah paled. 

“Not in a weird way!” Cosima quickly insisted. “I just… Like I said, he’s got skills. And I was curious.”

Sarah stared at her for a moment, before shaking her head as if clearing her thoughts. “We should just get rid of it, and never talk about it again.”

“Look, I understand if you don’t want to talk to Felix, but I think that I might bring it up…”

“No!” Sarah blurted, suspiciously fast.

If Cosima thought the whole thing was weird before, it was definitely getting weirder. “Why not?”

Sarah’s eyes lowered, focusing on her own lap. “Because this isn’t even his.”

“How do you know that?”

The other woman took a deep breath. “Because it’s mine.”

A thick silence hung in the air for a few long seconds, before Cosima began to laugh hysterically.

“Shit, Sarah!” she exclaimed, trying to catch her breath from laughing so hard, “You’re fucking with me, yeah?”

The pissed off look on the other woman’s face as her gaze shot back up told her she probably wasn’t lying. “Why is it so funny to you?”

Cosima’s eyes widened, and she began gesturing wildly. “Just… goddamn, the detail! The… the variation in positions. You’ve thought about this a lot!” The more she went on, however, the more angry Sarah seemed to look.

“Christ, Cos, thanks for being so gentle about finding out about my private stuff. I appreciate it.”

“You want me to be gentle?” she asked, cheekily. “I wasn’t being so gentle in some of those sketches.”

“Cosima!”

“Okay, okay, I’m sorry, I couldn’t help it.” She tried to compose herself, for Sarah’s sake. “Can I just… what? Why?”

The other woman sighed again. “You want the honest answer?”

“Of course.”

“I just wanted to get it out of my head somehow. Like if I put it on paper, maybe I wouldn’t think about it anymore. It didn’t help though. I’ve barely been able to focus on anything else.”

“Shit,” Cosima breathed, no longer having any desire to laugh. She joined Sarah on the couch, rubbing her temple in thought.

“Sorry,” Sarah said, scooting herself another couple inches away from the scientist, “But you said you wanted honesty.”

“No, no!” Cosima rushed, moving to close the distance between the two of them again so she could put a reassuring hand on the other woman’s knee. “Don’t be sorry. I’m sorry. Sorry that I was laughing about it. I was just nervous and I guess I didn’t know how else to react.”

Sarah scoffed. “What did you have to be nervous about?”

“Well, I mean, even if you did draw them doesn’t mean you want to, like… act on them, you know? I didn’t want to do something wrong. I still don’t want to do something wrong.” The scientist was suddenly hyper-aware of her hand placement, but before she could remove it, Sarah covered it with her own.

“Wrong like what?”

“I don’t even know. Just… anything that would make you uncomfortable, I guess.”

Sarah laughed, easing Cosima’s mind. “I’ve been drawing pictures of you in compromising positions with me, and you’re worried that _I’m_ going to be uncomfortable?”

The scientist flashed her a lopsided grin. “Well, yeah.”

“Aren’t _you_ uncomfortable?”

“No, I’m… curious. And I won’t say the thought had never crossed my mind before I found that sketchbook. Though perhaps it hadn’t crossed my mind in quite such detail and variety.”

Sarah blushed. “You’re serious?”

“I am! But, I mean, who wants the weird lesbian clone bringing that sort of shit up? Complicated on a number of levels.”

Falling back into their usual comfortable ease, Sarah settled her head against Cosima’s shoulder. “Well, I for one would have had an easier time if the weird lesbian clone had.”

“I’m a scientist, not a mind-reader,” Cosima joked, nudging the other woman with her elbow, “But I’ll try harder next time, okay?”


End file.
